Why the fuck are we here?!
Two moms, zero chill, and a serious case of California withdrawal
Why the fuck are we here?!
Ally
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Two of us.
SPEAKER_00Zero chill. And a serious case of California withdrawal.
SPEAKER_01We're so calm when we said that.
SPEAKER_00We were. And we did it right. And we didn't need like five takes. It was very peaceful. It was. That's what this episode's going to be.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So let me just tell you right now, we're talking all things LGBTQ. So if you're not an ally or part of that community, yeah, please log off. Because you're not it this isn't for you. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But if you are not and you just wanna like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Open your mind. Yeah. Yeah. Please. We're big allies. Huge. Like yeah. The biggest. Um all about it. Yeah. My daughter is bisexual. She's very open about it. Yep. I'm super proud of her for owning that. And it's very like, it wasn't this big to-do, right? It was like, yeah. And I love that. I love that we've created that space for her to be her authentic self. I don't understand people that disown their children or it's crazy. Like people off.
SPEAKER_01I I um I've never understood it either. Like, you know, my family is very open. You know, the first like I didn't know this, right? But I was like talking to my like the first babysitters that I ever had were like the gay couple next door. I mean, I don't remember that, right? But like, yeah, no big deal, right? My dad's people. Imagine Imagine. Big freaking deal. And I come from the world of theater, darling. And um, that is the world of theater, you know? So it's like it's not that it's no, it's not a big deal at all. I don't understand what the I don't I there's a big drama.
SPEAKER_00There's just things we're not gonna understand. Yeah. For close to the city. Because we're not bigoted people here. Right. So a couple things. Yes. This is gonna be like lighthearted, but informative, I think. Yeah. Like there's just things that we need to do as part of being allies that we have to mention. And and I think it's important. And I think I think a lot of allies, there's a misconception of, well, I'm not part of that community, so I can't talk about it. Right. Well, no, we can.
SPEAKER_01I think the more the more that we talk about it, I think the more like real it is, the more comfortable everybody gets, the more. I mean, you and I aren't uncomfortable, but I think they're I mean, it these are human rights issues, right? Yeah. Like they're we need to talk about human rights issues no matter what, yeah, whatever. So this is like this is real, it's important to talk about.
SPEAKER_00Um and we're we're flooded with information all day, every day. I'm just gonna do it. Even if you try to put your phone down, yeah, even if you try to put your phone down, it's just still in your face. Yeah. But anyways. I think so. The the main thing that I'd like to touch on is like the whole all the laws that are trying to be passed by the Trump administration for like trans Right. I I don't understand here's where what I've said since I was young. I've I've because my family is very like all of them are allies. Totally. My experience lived in San Francisco. They have, you know, my mom's best friend is lesbian, like that's just that's but it was never was right, right.
SPEAKER_01Like my kids grew just matters with fat uncles, not by blood, but definitely by heart. Like that's those are their uncles. Yeah. You know, and their aunts, that's not twice about it.
SPEAKER_00No. And that's I always share that with my kids, like, okay, what forty years ago my husband and I couldn't have been married because of interracial things. Who are we, and not us, but who are we to tell anyone that they can't be with someone that they love is love. Yeah. Love wins. Love wins. Always. And I don't I don't understand it. And I I guess you could call me naive for not knowing or not understanding. I I don't know if that's the right word, but it it it makes my blood boil.
SPEAKER_01It I don't think you're naive. I think you're enlightened for not understanding. Like if to to have that level of not understanding, because you understand where why those people believe what they believe, but what you don't understand is how they could believe what they believe. Yeah. And I think that that's a level of um enlightenment, right? Yeah. Because you're you're beyond you know their scope of yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_00Which is like, you know, like if you get like some hardcore religious person, and I say religious because it doesn't matter what religion. No, and it always comes back to cherry pick out of the Bible, right? And what oh, this is a sin. Well, so is cheating on your wife, so is abuse, so is you know, so many things. Right. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like exactly eating pork, I guess, you know, those are you reading and on and on seven deadly sins. Yes. So where why is this why is this such a huge issue? Why why does it matter if someone is they were born that way. And God makes no mistakes. That's what you wanna wanna claim all the time. So why that's not a mistake. They they are human beings and and they are beautiful, and I can tell you right now, I trust my kids in a group full of gay men, trans women, men, whatever, more than uh rich white men. Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_01I would drag yeah, drag story time any day of the week. I would put my kids there, of course, long before I'd put them in a room with um Heg Seth and his croonies or Epstein or you know, Ed. Yeah. That's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I do feel, and and this is gonna be super controversial, but all these people and and men and women alike, who are so, you know, it's a witch hunt, right? Yeah, those are the people that, oh, you have you have something deep inside of you that just comes out that way.
SPEAKER_01Right. Yeah. Like we usually hear about um, you know, they they fight so hard against, you know, these basic, basic, really basic human rights. Yeah. And then, you know, six months to a year later, they're in the news, you know, because they're in a hotel room with somebody or they're doing something that they're not, you know, like and there has to be there has to be freedom in just being yourself.
SPEAKER_00Why there is. There's a peace and a freedom, and everybody's entitled to that. Why is that such a I just again, I and because I don't know shit. Yeah. I just I don't get it. I don't know. I want I want to understand, not because I want to agree with you, but I want to understand your mentality. Why, why do you feel that way? Why is this so triggering for you? Why is this more you know, why are you more upset over a a uh woman playing a man's sport versus your president being in the Epstein files over a million files?
SPEAKER_01And it's kind of a like these two things are not weighed equally. Yeah. Not by any means. Why? I don't know. I wish I did. I don't understand it. Um I don't think they understand it.
SPEAKER_00I don't either. I think it's I think they just are mad to be mad. Yeah. And uh they're way more fabulous than you. Right. Yeah, well, they always have better listeners. You're mad. You're mad because they dress better. You're mad because they they embrace who they are unapologetically. Yeah. And and I think all of us should be like that. All of us should be able to be ourselves. And it's it's just sad. It's sad that we're at this I mean, it's again, just like racism, right? It's never gone away. It probably unfortunately never will. Right. But there has to be there has to be something to stop all this bullshit. Well, they say hurt people hurt people.
SPEAKER_01And there's a there's a hurt and a sadness and a um maybe a longing or desperation um and insecurity with people that uh try to put other people down. There has to be or else that wouldn't exist, right? Right. Um, and I know we all have our own insecurities and whatever, but it it's like a scope beyond what is normal. Right. Because what what anybody does in their own home doesn't affect the rest of the people.
SPEAKER_00I literally was just about to say that. What you do in your bedroom, in your home, right consensually I'm I'm adding that in there. Always consensual. It has to be consensual, no matter what. That has nothing to do with no who you sleep with, who you love, yeah, that does not hurt me.
SPEAKER_01Well, and you don't know who people are unless like they advertise it. So for generations and generations and generations, people have lived next door to all different kinds of people, and unless you're like, and you have the right to to celebrate who you are, but this this notion that like this is a new thing, and you know, you're so hurt by it. For years and years and years you weren't hurt by it. People were living together without being married, and now they're married, and now you're upset. Right. Their marriage hasn't affected your marriage. Their ability to marry has not affected anything about who you are.
SPEAKER_00The whole Republican notion of oh, gay marriage is is and first of all, we say gay here. We say gay. Oh, well, yeah, I mean gay. Gay. I'm gonna say it all day, every day, have a gay day, right? But their their thing of of like, oh, you know, gay marriage is ruining the sanctity of marriage. No. I'm sorry, how many times has Trump been married? Um a million times he did. How many baby mamas does he? Yes. No, I know I know gay marriages that have lasted longer than longer than straight marriages or whatever.
SPEAKER_01Like it's that's just that's just a silly uh, you know, made-up talking point. Right. Because it doesn't ruin anything. Because when you go out into the world, believe that. I know, but they're ridiculous. When you go out into the world, let's say a couple was living together. It's the same, like, so now that couple that's living together, when you when they go out and about, there's like what hardly any issue because maybe you don't know. Now that there's a ring on the finger, now it's an issue. Guess what? Your kids don't care. Hatred and bigotry and all that stuff, that is a learned behavior. That is not inherently in us. So your kids, believe me when I say, they don't care. Right.
SPEAKER_00They don't care. Okay, it's a perfect example. Just like care, and that's made them care. Just like you were saying, you your kids have been around your their uncles forever. Yes, right? And aunties. And yeah, and my so we'll just call him Uncle Jay because we try to not say names if we can. But Uncle Jay has been around since I was in high school. Right. Right? Um, he came out very young, and he is the most fabulous person I know. Right. And we we educate each other on on certain things, right? So actually before this episode, we were kind of picking his brain like what not to say, what to say, like what you know, because we want to be respectful. Right. This is a safe space, and we're not going to we're not we're not going to overstep because we also want to be loud and and say what we need to say. Absolutely. We're we're allies, we're advocates.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Um, but we know that we cannot always tell the whole story. Yep. And that's that's okay. Like we're not here to tell the full story, but we are here to tell everybody that this is a safe place. We're advocates, we're not scared. No. Um, we're we embrace everybody, yes, regardless of race, religion, and anything.
SPEAKER_00So Uncle Jay has just been around, right? My kids their whole lives. And again, I would trust him more than you know, uh the funny thing is like I would trust someone that has a pride flag more than an American flag hanging out at this front at this moment, right? Yeah. And like, you know, we've discussed that, and my kids ask questions and I answer. Yeah. It's no, it's no secret. So why can I why can I shove marriage down my kids' throat and this is how it should be be married, have kids. Well, no, if that's not their path, that's not their path. But you could be straight and that wouldn't be your path. Right. So it's like, no, that's what I'm saying. Why is that an issue? It it's an issue because you make it an issue. Right. He's in for it. It looks like it's love is love. Yeah. Period. And again, I've I told, you know, especially when when the kids were younger and like explaining, yeah. Yeah, Uncle J's dates meant. Yeah. Oh, cool. And it was everyone here out the other in bikes and they're not. Yeah, and it was this big thing. Well, oh, am I am I gay now? Yeah. Are you? Right. If you are, that's cool, but it's not a problem if you are. It's not a problem at all.
SPEAKER_01Right. Well, and they talk about like indoctrination and all this kind of stuff. We grew up with movies with gay characters and whatever, and trans characters and stuff. That's not indoctrination, that's just representation.
SPEAKER_00Right. And and look, like some of the greats have done trans roles, right? Yes. Patrick Swayze, um, uh oh my god, all their names are slipping in my mind right now. But there's so many movies that they they were portrayed as, and now I know like the climate, like we want to. Yeah, the climate's a little bit zip branded, yeah. More inclusive uh trans actors, right? Or actor, yeah, to be to be inclusive. And so I get that part. Um, but but the point of that, it's not going anywhere. No, and it's not a big deal. So get over it. And they're fucking people.
SPEAKER_01They're people. Like literally, I see no different. And it's funny because when we do see different people out and about, yeah, you know, our friends in the trans community, like my kids, I'm proud to say that my kids don't bat and hide. Right.
SPEAKER_00You know, because a lot of times people are transitioning, and so I don't see it and as they'll ask questions, but I think it's so important to have those conversations. Yes. To to be like, oh yeah, yeah, they I mean, to me, they look like they are transitioning. Cool. More power to them, right? That let them be their themselves.
SPEAKER_01Everybody should grow up to be who they are. Yes. And that is inclusive of you know the LGBTQ community. This is the dumbest argument on the planet that okay. So let me what sparked this. I mean, besides just being allies, we've wanted to talk about this and we talk about this privately for you know all the time. But um it is my understanding that the S or I'm sorry, NSPM-7, the National Security Presidential Memorandum, targets groups labeled as domestic terrorists, which might not sound so bad, except that it's labeling the LGBTQ plus community as domestic terrorists. And I don't know.
SPEAKER_00I mean, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The last time I like pulled up an article on a mass shooting, right, it was a white Republican male, but they just have mental health issues. That's what's yeah, how the how they spin it. I mean they try to spin all these things, and and again, in in my experience, in my life, yeah, I I have never experienced someone who was part of the community trying to harm anyone. Never. So literally never.
SPEAKER_01I mean, give me a break. So what they're okay how they are positioning this is it's gender extremism. And for them, that is a potential threat. The ACLU says it targets LGBTQ activists and all the nonprofits that are available. Um, but this is discrimination and a complete violation of civil liberties.
SPEAKER_00And the problem with this, uh like there's a lot of problems with this, but what are the same things taking their guns? Right? Right. We're taking away people's rights to be themselves. Right. They're not a threat to anybody. They're not. And the the whole this whole thing with and then taking away uh gender affirming care for children and adults. Why please explain, please explain. Because I don't I I can't. I've tried to like research and tried to to understand why is it such a problem. It's not affecting you. It does nothing to you. It's not doing anything. If you told me, hey, I I have always felt I'm a man. I would be like, okay, yeah, let's go, boy.
SPEAKER_01I have a friend right now who uh um is you know in the midst of a child that uh is potentially transitioning, maybe not. And she was she's been the most amazing mother. Like I applaud her so much, and I am so supportive of her and all of our friends. Like we're just like a and she's she has I don't know, like it makes me want to cry because I just I love her love of her child. Like it it's everything, you know?
SPEAKER_00And she's like And that's how it should be. There should be nothing that our kids come to. I tell my kids that all the time. Yeah. Actually, funny. I always tell my kids, I don't care if you tell me, oh, I like girls, I like guys, I like both, I I think I'm a dude, I think I'm I'm a female, whatever. I draw the line at if you tell me you're a wolf. That I don't understand. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Can we talk about lit uh what is it, cat litter or something? Or what is it, litter boxes in schools, which don't exist, by the way, you freaks. None of that it's happening.
SPEAKER_00I just just so everybody just so I make my kids laugh, right? Because we have these serious conversations and then I'm like, but yeah, you you love who you love, you like who you like, you date who you want to date. Yes. I mean, the littles can't date yet. I'm I'm not gonna be. Well, there you go. I'll laugh. But I I really am if you tell me now I'm a coyote mom, I I can't support that. I will still love you, but I'm not gonna call you a fucking coyote. Right? No, I'm okay. Like, listen, there is a line that I think. And I and I do think, I do think, and this is my 100% personal opinion, yeah, as far as like transitioning, you know, at a young age, yeah. I think there is a lot that needs to go into that, not because that's not real for them. Right, right, but I think that they need to it needs and and of course, guide support, you know, if you need to be in therapy to help you talk these things out because you know, yeah, we can talk, right, but that doesn't, it's not going to well it's different. Like your mom, yeah, your dad, but that's exactly different, you know? Yes, and that's important. I mean, everyone. I was just talking to my girlfriend about that last night. I was like, you know, everyone needs to be in therapy. Everyone's gosh, we all need to be in therapy to tell you right things. And life would be, I feel like, a lot better if we all talked about things that are uncomfortable, you know. And why is that why is that so hard?
SPEAKER_01Well, to your point though, my friend that's going through this with her child, she the way she handled it was absolutely phenomenal. Yes. You know, she's very open, right? Um, but what she um what she told her child is I will be completely supportive um of however you want to be. So, you know, like you know, you want to dress a certain way or you want to do this. I'm trying to be very careful with like, you know, not to, you know, overstep boundaries with them. But um, you know, everything, and then she said when it came to the um like the hormones and all that kind of stuff, she's like Can I ask how old they are? Now they are oh my gosh, twenty one. So it's been a little while. Yes. Okay. This started probably right around high school. Okay. Right? Right around high school, maybe a little bit before. Yeah, and I think it's always in our lives, right? Well we are. Yes. And it was funny because I think we all, you know, you never know which direction anything is gonna go, but like we all kind of wouldn't when they decided to tell us this information, and then nobody was surprised. Right, right. So it was sort of like an underlying thing very little.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um and um, but again, you know, we're like this great, big, hopefully supportive bunch. So it's no big deal. You know, we just you know, you talk through it, you walk through it, and you know, we hold your hand as you go through it, and um, because it was always about being a safe space. Yeah, right, yeah. And you know, you never know. Like some people feel this way and they decide later on, no, you know, I'm gonna go this way, whatever.
SPEAKER_00So And that's okay too, because I think I think we've touched on that a little bit, like figuring out who we are, right? And that we're still doing that in our forties. And I have no idea, exactly. And I think that there would be such uh so many more happy people if it were just they could genuinely be themselves. Yeah. And and I love when I see people and and not even in the LGBTQ community, like just jet in general, yeah. People being their authentic self. Me too. And I think that with with this world of filters and you know, uh like uh influencers and all the things that we're supposed to be, I think that's hard, right? Totally. And then you add, oh, I'm gay or I'm a lesbian or I'm queer, whatever. Right. It it it it's this heavier weight on yeah, but I mean that makes sense. I mean, and that's what I worry. I worry for my daughter, you know. Not because this house isn't safe and our friends aren't safe and our family and you know, my my parents are supportive and always will be. Yeah, but I just worry about the world, right? I don't want her to struggle with those things because the world is ugly and and we're we're a good foundation and we're she's certainly, but when you go out there, what is that gonna look like?
SPEAKER_01And I that that a lot of times that just depends on where you are.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But I think there's more good people than bad.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And you know, you always search for like the light, right? For sure. Stay away from the dark. And I, you know, I I pray that everything is good for her, and I think it will be. Yeah. I think it will be because I think And also she just doesn't give a fuck what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_00That's always bad, right? That really helps. She truly doesn't care, right?
SPEAKER_01She's like, and but being your authentic self-well, what here's the other thing too, is like being your authentic self can change over time, right? Yeah. Like I was my authentic self at 21, but it's really different from my authentic self at 31. Yeah. And really different from my authentic self at 41, and so on and so on. So it's like you can change and you can be different and you can evolve, and you're constantly trying to figure it out. And I think that that's okay too. And I think that's where a lot of people get pigeonholed because it's like, your authentic self, and you know, but I'm this way and now I'm this way, and I think people are afraid to change.
SPEAKER_00People are afraid of change, and I think that's what it all comes down to is like this stuff with the what is it, and N S N S T M. I think that it's all fear-based. It's all absolutely because it doesn't matter. Educate yourself enough to know that a trans woman or trans man is not a threat to you. They're not they're not domestic terrorists. They're not being both trying to live their life. Yeah. And be themselves.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Which is clearly something there. These people are cosplaying. They're they are cosplaying their. That is ridiculous. Yeah. And dumb and hurtful, and it does nothing to help any cause, which I it's the point. I mean, cruelty is the point in this administration.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It always is and it always has been. Well, and and the whole like, what's what's her not not Bondy? What's the other one whose husband is a cross dresser? Oh. Uh no. Yeah. So those are the types of things that like this group, this administration is so adamant on, you know, gay people, uh, trans people are are sick and they're hurting children. No, it's all you straight, and I say that in quotes, right? Straight people, Bible thumping people who are cross-dressing and have child porn and molesting kids. That's all you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I haven't seen one case of look, I am not gonna say that there are not good people and bad people in every Oh, a thousand percent. Like, but by and large, yes, by and large, right? That's like, that's like, I mean, it's like anything else, right? Yeah. You know, one group of people steals from a store and you're you label them all one way. Right. Like that's just it's ridiculous. You can't do that. We've we've we're so far past it, and they're trying to reel us back into that. And I think that hopefully most of us are smart enough to realize how um ridiculous this is. They're going after they're definitely going after marginalized groups. Yeah. Um for sure. Not just LGBTQ ⁇ , so many marginalized groups. And I think it's, you know, this is all a distraction. Yeah. Because I always gonna take Trump as an example because he's our leader right now. Um but if you look at all I guess I say that like, oh, after my eye roll. But like you look at him, right? And you look at all his TV shows and all his connections and all his things, and like he never once, well, I mean, maybe, I don't know, but like he didn't seem to have a problem with anybody on any of his shows being different or being, you know, whatever. Um, and now all of a sudden he has problems with all these marginalized, you know, communities. And it's like maybe that was I don't know, maybe he didn't care before because it's money in his pocket.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_01Diversity sells. That's all he cares about. Well, yeah, diversity sells. But like, I don't know if he really had a problem or not. I mean, it seems like he did because he's kind of a dick, but sorry. Kind of a poo-poo head. But um He's a motherfucking dick. Yeah, he's a dick. Um, but you know, I don't know. I just I think it's crazy. And what I would love to hear from this community because I find myself at I want to do more. Okay. Yeah. A thousand percent. I want to do more, but I don't know what to do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Right. Um Yeah, we can go to Pride, we can aid different organizations and be supportive and be allies that that are a safe space because you know, this is what breaks my heart the most is when people's families don't support them. I got that. I just want to like so mad. Yeah. I want to like put them in a blanket and like bake them cookies and you know what you're doing. And then I want to bitch slap their moms. Let's please just a line of like just because I just don't understand. There's nothing that my kids could do or say unless they were a Trump supporter that I wouldn't love them so short of murder. Right. Right. And being a Trump supporter. Okay. That I wouldn't love them for, you know, and I and I don't I don't understand. And there's there is power in in just being present and being being empathetic and and no, I may not understand your struggles a thousand percent, but I'm a woman, I'm Latina, I I, you know, have mixed babies. I can understand being marginalized. And I think that it's important that we stand together and and you don't have to agree with everything. That's okay. But do the right thing. For sure. That's what it comes down to. It's just doing the right thing and being supportive and and not being afraid to be supportive. I think too.
SPEAKER_01I think sometimes the parents need so I well, probably all the time the parents need support too. Because that's a transition. It's yeah, you know, sometimes depending on what it is, like there is a mourning there for a lot of parents. I've I've heard it from my friends that have gone through it. And, you know, I always try to be there for them and you know, be like super supportive of of them as well. Now, they're very open and giving and loving to their kids. So it's not like they're like, no, we vanish. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_00But it's still these are people that are like you so supportive and like worry no matter what. Just like I said, you worry because of the world, not because not because of you, not because it's I don't support it, but I just worry that the world is ugly. And yes, like you said, there are more good than bad, but in the forefront, in the in the now, it's it is scary as well as Ed Heron.
SPEAKER_01It's you know, it all boils down to like your algorithm, right? So like if you type in one thing, you're gonna get so much support, but if you type in another thing, it's really scary because you realize like how much the other side you know pushes back. Yeah. And it's terrifying. Yeah. So I personally like just we, I think I can speak for you, J. And I say, like, we want to know what we can do and like how we can be supportive of the community because we're huge allies. Yeah. And, you know, I you know, we all have our shirts and you know, we go to events and you know, and you know, hey, campaign is is a good one.
SPEAKER_00And like and I support, like, we have our favorite coffee shop. They're a gay couple, they own it, and I love and it's so amazing, right? And I'll like I just love, first of all, supporting small business. I know supporting small business, supporting the yeah, but but those types of things are important, you know, like yes, we can support that in in that way. Yes, it may be minimal, but it's something, right? But and not being afraid to say gay. It's not a bad word. It's not it's not there's a lot of people, it's so weird.
SPEAKER_01Like the other day, someone was talking and they were like and they were talking about like their cousin or something, and they're like, Yeah, and she's and da-da-da. And then I was like, Why did you whisper it? Right. Why why that's weird? Like, why did you whisper that? Yeah, like it's a bad word. The other thing that I've stopped kids from doing is using it in a derogatory way. Oh, I thought when I hear a kid, like I will snap back. Yeah, my head turns so fast. When I'm in a store and they're like, You're so gay, I'm like, oh no.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that is not to be used as an insult. Right. Because it's not scary. Yeah, because it's not, because now I'm gonna say your name, oh your name's Kevin. Oh, that's so Kevin. When I mean something stupid. No. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Go read a book. Yeah, Kevin. Go read a banned book, Kevin. Yeah, Kevin. Thank you, Kevin. Fuck you. That's so Kevin. That's so Kevin.
SPEAKER_01Sorry to all the Kevins out there. We love there's a lot of Kevins that we love, so just an imaginary one that we're mad at, but yeah.
SPEAKER_00Don't be stupid, don't be ignorant. That's what it comes down to.
SPEAKER_01Well, you can educate yourself, and the best way to educate yourself is just not to be an idiot. Yeah. And to go out in the world, and when you see somebody or you know, you hear somebody, whatever, a friend of a friend, um, I don't know, why don't you like talk to them and not be a weirdo?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And and I think that's that's the common misconception is that we can't talk to people. Yeah. Right? Like, just like you don't touch a uh a black woman's hair. Can can we just don't do it? Yes, their hair is beautiful. It's a fucking crown. Don't touch it. Yeah. Don't touch it. It's not it's not a a sideshow. Yeah. But just the same thing. Have conversations. If you're not educated on something, talk to someone. Find yeah. Find and and you don't have to be prying. You don't have to ask about their sex life. You don't have to ask about, you know, like work. Yeah. But if you wouldn't ask me for you, I mean I would ask you. But you know what I mean? I just there's no TMIS to me. But that's a whole different thing. But you're not gonna ask a stranger.
SPEAKER_01I just don't, hey, how here's I have the solution. Okay, I have the solution to all of this. Okay, what is it? Just treat people like they're people and don't worry about all the other bullshit they may or may not be, and then the world will be a better place.
SPEAKER_00Hold on, hold on. Let me ask you this though, because this is this is a good question, and we and then we can kind of end it here. Okay. But so when we we're treating people like they're people, yeah, that's like first and foremost. Yep. But I think I think that for me in my brain, I get caught up in the well, I don't want that to be the only thing we talk about. No at all. I also don't want to ignore it. So I think there's a fine. Hey, so it's like when people say, I don't see color. Yeah, but no, motherfucker, you should see color. I don't like what I don't like that term. I don't think it's an interesting thing, and people are very um divided on that one. Yeah, I don't like that because you should see color. You should. But then when I do with it, what will you see, and then what do you do with it? Treat them like a person.
SPEAKER_01Like anybody else, right? Anybody else. It's okay to see our differences. It's even okay to acknowledge our differences. It's not okay to treat people poorly based on those differences. Right. A hundred percent. It's what you do with it. Yeah. Right?
SPEAKER_00Or to have preconceived notions based on those differences. And I and I think that's what it comes down to is just like you said, there's you know, you see people looting and it's a group of black young black men, unfortunately, that time, whatever. Right. And so now it's oh you see comments, oh, of course it's this group of people. What stop being stupid? I've seen white people do it too. Yes. But it's the same thing, right? We put people in these boxes that, oh, you're gay, so you must be this way. Right. Oh, you're black, so you must be this way. Right. Oh, you grew up in California, so you must be this way. And we are literally we we are that way. That was true. Yeah. But the rest of the isn't I've been guilty of that.
SPEAKER_01Like well, I think I think you'd be dishonest. Yeah. And I'd be dishonest if I if I would say that I I haven't put people in boxes before. But but it's also self-preservation, right? Like there's and we're sort of taught to do this, like don't talk to strangers or don't do this, or if if you see a van, don't go up, right? So there's a self-preservation aspect to that. Yeah. Um, that is very real, probably. I mean, have you ever I've been in a situation where I walked into a room and I was like, this guy's a creeper. And I don't know why. I didn't there's nothing like he didn't say I had that pester the molester. Yeah. But like But he probably was.
SPEAKER_00But he j I jugged back on my neck, yeah, stood up. Well, because we just I mean, right, I don't woman's intuition, mom intuition, whatever you want to call it. I think we're both pretty on point with but but it is it's true, right? Yeah. And it doesn't it's it doesn't even have to be like a white guy or right, well yeah, yeah. It's just because of how he looks, he could be very well polished, but you're just like, I just get this. Yeah, I just get the savior and vibe from the same though. I yeah, it might be different. I think that's different. Yeah, it's just it's easy when we don't know someone to put them in this box. Right. And that goes for everything. Religion, you know, you somebody could say they're they're Christian and you're like, oh, so you must feel this way. Feel this way, right? Because that's not totally unfair, totally unfair. And so I think, like you said, we're all guilty of it. Right. But I think opening those doors, having the conversations that maybe maybe it's uncomfortable for you. For sure. I mean, that's okay. That's okay. But but I think it's important to do that.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's part of it is the feeling, but it's what you do with the feeling. I like I'm a firm believer in that, like it's what you do with it, right? So like I don't know, like I've been, you know, I'm gonna say but like you're not gonna love everybody that you meet. Like you go to a party and maybe you're like a bunch of, you know, you've got a random friend of friends. Right. So I may not like people don't introduce me to people because I'm just not nice. You are but you are nice though. You are nice. That's the thing. It's like you are, and so am I. No, you're but it's like I'm nice. I'm not but I like there's some people that you just you're not gonna just you're gonna vibe with, you're not gonna vibe with, and like you kind of know it just from looking at them, right? But it's so you get the feeling, but it's what you do with the feeling.
SPEAKER_00Right. So then like I'm not gonna go out of my way to be a fucking bitch to you because I get a bad vibe from you. Right. I guess I know for a fact you did something crazy. Right.
SPEAKER_01But yet And I'm talking about like a chill vibe. Not talking like Chester the Molester vibe, but I'm talking like we go to a party and I'm like, you know, you were introducing me to three people in one of them. No, this is hypothetical. Um this is yeah, if I if I don't go to a party, we don't do we don't do parties. We don't not not really, because at the Halloween party, which is oh yes, not like other parties like you know, and and you may not get like hit it off right away or that vibe or something, but I'm always friendly and kind. I have been pleasantly surprised many many times. So I have that feeling, but what do I do with it? Right. Do I still extend myself? Yeah, yes. If they live up to what's, you know, yes, the initial vibe, that vibe, that initial thing, sure, no problem. We move on. But how many times, you know, it it happens often where they're actually just really shy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you're actually nice or they're cool, like whatever. I have a resting bitch face. Yes, and like hardcore. And and I like I always say, if my mouth doesn't say it, my face will. Yeah. Okay. So people probably think that of me, right? Right. And that's okay. But I don't, I would rather you not approach me if you don't feel comfortable with it. Yeah. But I get that. I agree with you a hundred percent because there may be someone that you're like, oh, I just I don't know if we're gonna click or whatever. And then you end up being great friends. That happened to me in college. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01There was somebody that I was just like, I just she just kind of had that face of like beautiful girl, but just not like, I don't know. And I'm so like, I feel like I'm probably a little bit more approachable, but she just total resting bitch face, right? And we ended up to be great friends. It took a minute, right? It took a minute because I sort of like um it's kind of intimidating. It's a little bit intimidating, and you're you feel like they don't like you. So it's not like you don't like them, but you feel like they don't like you. So you're just not like I'm not gonna push it. Yeah, and it's you know, no skin off my back, but that's kind of how it fell. We lived in the dorms together, not in the same room, but like the same dorm. And I was friends with a bunch of like her roommates and stuff like that. So everything was like. You know, it was kosher. We were in the same place a lot. Yeah. But um, you know, eventually, you know, I don't know how we started talking because it was so many years ago.
SPEAKER_00But I was like, I love you. You're loving. Looking back, looking back, you're like, that was stupid. That was so far.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So and and that, among other, you know, things, but like that was really like one of the things that was like, okay, can't I mean it's a saying you can't judge a book by its covering. Sometimes you can, but oftentimes you can. Right. And so that sort of like you know Yes.
SPEAKER_00And I think that it plays into all of it. But again, having hard conversations, having being able to be like, you know what? And and being honest, I don't, I'm not educated on this. Right. So please let's talk. Right. You know, Uncle Jay and I, we always will be like, he'll he when all the Black Lives Matter movement was going on, he like would text me and be like, hey, is this appropriate for me to post? Like I don't want to overstep. I'm like, hell yeah, it is, you know, but I appreciate that because and I do the same thing. Or if I I have a question about the community and I'm like, hey, this this is gonna sound kind of naive, right? But blah blah. And he's like, Yeah, it does sound kind of naive, but let me help tweak it. Yeah. And and I appreciate that that more people need to do that. Yeah. Because I think that's where the uncomfortability comes in. Yeah. Where we don't know. And so instead of being like, hey, I don't know, let's talk, it's like, okay, I'm just gonna not say Yeah, you're gonna ignore it and then just, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I think we are taught to like, I feel like as you know, in school, like as we age or whatever, it's like you don't ever want to admit when you don't know something, right?
SPEAKER_00It's like I know it, you should know it, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because it's embarrassing that you're seeing that really sticks with you. And the older that I've gotten, the more I realize, like, ask for help. Yeah. We don't know everything, and we shouldn't. And we're not supposed to. Yes. Yeah. We are ever changing. And the world is ever changing. We need to change with it. Yeah. Because if not, we are gonna be stuck in the same old rut, yeah, not knowing, and that's when you look like an idiot.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that's scary in a nutshell, right? And that's scary because then we never grow. Right. And I and I think that's important. Okay, you may not a hundred percent agree with it. That's your prerogative, that's your choice. Yeah, nobody's forcing you to agree with it, but it doesn't mean that you need to hate this group of people because they're different than you.
SPEAKER_01My sister-in-law um what her email signature, I don't know if it's not emailed her in a long time, but it always used to say on the bottom, it was like, you know, say her name and then life, lifelong learner or whatever. And I always liked that because I know she wasn't talking about math and science as an adult. Yeah. Although I still to this day do not understand how text messages, how I type it here, it goes to the sky. I don't understand. I don't understand how a satellite up there and I and then it comes back to you. How does it do that? How does it do this? It does, it goes to the sky, it goes into the heavens, it's like and then it like and you get it in like five seconds, right? The best thing I've ever heard in the world. I would love a I need a NASA scientist to um please explain that to me because I will. It sounds funny, but I swear I like it. But I get it. But I am a lifelong learner, yeah, and I don't understand it. And I am here to admit that I don't understand it. Yes, and I need to understand it, and I need to help somebody understand.
SPEAKER_00Help me understand so I can be less. But with all that said, we're all learning. Yes. We're all here's the thing. We all are getting trying to get through life. Yes, right? And whether or not you struggle because you haven't come out to your family, or you don't know how to speak to your mother about, you know, some childhood issues that you have, or it there's just so many things that we're all struggling with. Keep an open mind and have conversations. That's where it's gonna start. Yeah. And until we are comfortable enough to have conversations where we we are like, oh, this is this one's hard for me. Yeah. Until we get to that spot, we're all gonna stay in the same mentality, the same. There's there's just things that we have to talk about. And and it sucks sometimes, and it's like, oh, I get a little anxious, and you know, but it's a work. Be someone's safe space. Yeah. And we are be there, be there for people. We're the safe space, we're here. We're your safe space.
SPEAKER_01We are our each other's safe space, regardless of the you know, the issues that we're talking about. Like, and we just, you know, like I said, we just wanted to engage in this because it, you know, this National Security Presidential Memorandum 7 is ridiculous and it's heartbreaking. Fucking stupid. And I don't know what we can do about it.
SPEAKER_00What was it? CSAR 2573. Fucking okay, let's get the fuck out of here. Let's go. Love people, love, peace. Shout out to all of our listeners. Oh my gosh. Oh, we're global. You guys are in 11 countries right now. I don't know. I don't know how. I mean, I think we're annoyed sometimes. Like, I yeah, like 90 for our countries would agree. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You guys, 11 frickin' countries.
SPEAKER_00I mean, how? I don't know. Please keep listening because this is this is awesome. This is fun for us. If you have ideas for topics like what we talk about, please let us know. Follow us on Instagram. Yeah, what what follow our YouTube channel or there? Apple, uh, podcasts, Spotify. We just we we just so appreciate the support and it it means the world. It's pretty crazy coming, it's awesome.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And any topics that you guys want to hear, yeah, let us know. You know, we're even our well, our podcast is growing and evolving, and we're open-minded. Yeah. So yeah, bring it on, dude. We'll we'll listen, we'll do whatever you gotta say. All right, address everything. Okay, let us know.